Be intimidating how to appear more intimidating
After all, you can’t remove feelings and most people get intimidated every once in awhile, so why not be okay with it?Lesson learned: Whenever you’re around someone who intimidates you, think: “Now I’m intimidated, and that’s OK.” Then you can move forward to face (and conquer) your fears instead of fighting your own feelings.While Peter Economy has spent the better part of two decades of his life slugging it out mano a mano in the management trenches, he is now a full-time ghostwriter and best-selling author of more than 85 books -- including for more than 12 years, where he has worked on projects with the likes of Jim Collins, Frances Hesselbein, Marshall Goldsmith, and many other top management and leadership thinkers. Although many of us have found that there's a stigma that goes along being someone who is considered to be intimidating--or any of its closer synonyms like bossy, overpowering, or demanding--could it be that coming off as a force to reckon with can actually be a good thing? Ever wondered just how coming off too strong might actually be a good thing? Even though everyone sticks up for himself or herself every now and then, if you appear as a strong personality, people will know that you're not someone who will be pushed around.Rather than taking senseless blows, people know not to treat you poorly from the very start.They protect themselves below their perfect surface – and the price they pay is becoming less approachable (and that means less high-quality relationships).Lesson learned: Most often, intimidation is a defense, not a tool to suppress others.Being intimidating doesn’t help her social life, quite the contrary.
CBT is a well-researched field and is used by psychologists all over the world when it comes to changing behavior and dealing with feelings.It’s important to know about this because a) it helps us understand that it’s not about us, it’s about them.This insight helps us to not take their intimidation personally and b) it helps us understand that their “perfect surface” more often than not is a protection for their low self-esteem. It can be stressful to be around intimidating people and feel that being inferior will make them dislike us.“Here everyone has a fancy Ph D title and I’m just a retail employee” or “Here everyone’s tall and I’m short.” As I’ve written about before, it’s a losing game to try to make people like us.We want to make people like being Lesson learned: When you’re around people who intimidate you, don’t fall into the trap of trying to prove yourself to them. Instead, keep to the universal principles of likability.
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– Alexis I got lots of questions about that from both men and women.